No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
God, I missed his penis.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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