Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
