I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize