she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
