Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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