Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
