Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
