Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
