Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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