i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
