i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
