Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
