based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize