Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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