I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
