That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
