I want to make a zoo with you.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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