So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
