remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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