If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
