"it" just moved
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
