I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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