We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
