he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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