did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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