i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm too high and old for this...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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