We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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