Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
