I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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