So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
