I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
