Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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