hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
