I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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