giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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