finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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