well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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