Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Randomize
