My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
