no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
