We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
