I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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