When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
