Cold hands, warm shart.
I love black thongs
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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