So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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