fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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