You can't special order awesome
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
