i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
