You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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