I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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