D3 body, D1 cock
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
where does the pee come out of this thing
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
