I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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