I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
