did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I wish i was in the wii world.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
