Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
