i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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