It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
