dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Your dad touched me again.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize