she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
