I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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