Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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