Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i think my cat just said my name.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
