Kiss
Puke
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dick very happy bro
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