Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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